im sick for being me !

no matter what , here i am , full with trouble, ouh ya , i never ask for that , so it is my false ? i've tried to change to be a better person , even hard , totally hard , but my ancient story just be a good teacher for me , i learned to appreciate someone else , even i know, at the end , i will be hurt , i know, i deserved for that to repay back what i've done before , right ? and now, i need to think back bout my decision , to allow someone to enter my life , maybe i should never allow that to be happen , yah , i need to think back , im not good as the other person , disaster of me, i know . what ever it is , this is me , if u cant accept that , so please , my big pleasure , leave me alone !,